Real Talk: Dealing With Bad Times

Hello everyone, 

If you've read my blog before you'll know that I don't really blog about one theme, I write about whatever I feel like. I've decided to start a series called 'Real Talk' where I discuss topics honestly and openly. 

We all have times in our lives where everything seems to be going wrong and falling apart right in front of our eyes, and we often feel that we can’t do anything about it. Recently, I’ve been going through a ‘rough patch’ where everything seems to be going wrong and sometimes I feel that there’s nothing I can do to control it.

While we can’t always stop the shitter things in life happening, we can find little ways to make ourselves feel a little better, even if it’s just for a little while. In this post, I thought I’d share some tips that may make a bad time feel a little easier.

Me Time

Some people want to talk about the tough times in their life, while others prefer to keep themselves to themselves and get on with things more privately. I personally am an odd mix between the two! When I’m feeling down, I sometimes like to shut myself away from everyone and everything and have some ‘me time’. By this I mean I’ll either have a bath (and probs cry, it’s me, lets be honest!). Or I'll go in my room and binge watch some trash TV or listen to some music, probably sad songs that again, will make me cry! I love nothing more than having a bath with a bath bomb, then relax by watching tv and burning a scented candle- it's so relaxing and calms be down. A small break away from reality lets me focus on something other than the problems I’m facing, and gives me time to process what is going on and think!

Talk It Out 

As I mentioned, I also like talking about my problems, as I believe a problem shared can be a problem halved. I’m lucky because I have a very close relationship with my mum and my best friend (my mum is sometimes more like my best friend and my best friend is more like my sister). Naturally, these are the two people I tend to talk to the most and sometimes even just talking about what’s upsetting me makes me feel better. While it’s understandable that you may not want to feel like you are bombarding your personal issues onto other people, real friends will be there for you. You also shouldn’t worry about what people will think, the saying “those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” speaks volumes. No one who genuinely cares about you will judge you for feeling upset.

Assess the Situation

It’s important to not allow yourself to be consumed with your problems, however, it’s also important to face your problems head on. While it may be hard, it’s important to think about what’s going on, work out exactly what is bringing you down and think about whether or not it is worth getting upset over. Once you’ve done that, you can think about how you can solve your problem and make yourself feel better. Ignoring what’s making you sad may make you feel better for a little while, but ultimately you will be so much happier once you identify what exactly is wrong and work out how to make it better, even if it seems impossible. 

It’s OK Not to Be Ok

Please tell me I’m not the only one who has Jessie J’s “Who You Are” running through my head when reading that? While this whole post is about finding ways to make yourself feel less sad, it’s important to remember that it is perfectly acceptable to not feel happy all of the time! I have an almost 'rule' where if I’m down I’ll allow myself to cry and let it take over my life for no longer than a day! I give myself time to feel sorry for myself and get all my emotions out, but not too long that it’s the only thing I think about.I always think to myself “yes, you’re upset, but there are people who have it far worse. To quote Kourtney Kardashain when Kim lost her earring “there's people that are dying”. Truth is yes, chances are in this world there will be someone who has a bigger problem than yourself and it is important to remember that, but that still doesn’t mean your problems don’t matter! Take the time to allow yourself to get your emotions out, but don’t let it take over!

Time Heals

I know that when you’re upset it seems like whatever is getting you down will never go away and you’ll never get over it. I honestly find that time is the biggest healer. As time goes on, usually your problems will either go away or get easier. What seems like the worst thing in the world now, will be nothing eventually.

In the Mean Time- Focus On Other Things

Putting your focus into something productive or fun will allow you to not only take your mind off of whatever is making you upset, but you can end up getting something good out of a bad situation. Even if it’s something as simple as having a night out with your friends getting hammered on shots (been there, more than once), find something to make you happy while you’re still healing. There's nothing better than realising that you can still be happy and you will be ok when you're going through a hard time.

Everyone goes through bad times and that’s ok. It’s impossible to be fine all the time! My biggest piece of advice is to do things that make you feel better. Plan things so you have something to look forward to, see friends, buy tickets for a show or concert, book a city break! Or you can even stick a sad film on and have a little cry if you think that will do the trick.

It’s only normal to have your down days, it happens to us all.

Feel better and until next time,

Becca x