Real Talk: Moving Out, what it's REALLY like!
Hi everyone,
At the beginning of the year, my boyfriend and I took the biggest step in our relationship yet and moved in together. Moving out is possibly one of the biggest steps you will ever make in your life, regardless of if you’re moving in with your partner, friend or by yourself.
After moving out to live at uni, moving country by myself and now moving in with my boyfriend, I thought I would talk about taking the plunge and flying the nest.
First thing first, can you afford to move out? Think about it, when you live at home most people don’t pay rent and usually get their washing, cooking and other chores for them (if they’re lucky). Living at home with your family is usually always cheaper than living by yourself.
There are so many things to consider; how much rent can you pay if you’re renting? Will you still be able to pay for household bills once your rent or mortgage is taken care of? Don’t forget you probably have other things to pay for too, food, phone bills, car payments and you’re also going to want some extra left over cash for things like socialising, treating yourself to new clothes etc. You’ll also probably want to (or in some cases will have to) buy things for your new place. Furniture, homeware, kitchen utensils, the list seems endless.
Living independently is expensive so make sure you’re confident you can actually afford it.
Also, consider why you want to fly the nest. Is it because you and your partner want to take the next step in your relationship? Are you ready to take on life more independently? Have you found a new job and want an easier commute? Take a step back and think about if you actually want to (or have to) move out. Weigh up the pros and cons and then see how you feel. It’s also worth discussing the idea with people around you so that you can hear different opinions.
Sometimes when you have your heart set on a goal it’s not easy hearing people suggest you shouldn’t go for it, but it’s always worth listening to other people’s thoughts. Luckily for me, my family were very supportive when it came to me leaving my family home and moving in with Calhan.
Again, money, money, money! It’s so boring having to think about spending money all the time but to make sure you’re not going to get into debt, it’s important to make a budget- and STICK TO IT! The last thing you want is to not keep track of your spending and then when it comes to big payments, not being able to afford it or going into your overdraft.
I can hand on heart admit that sometimes, without Mummy keeping an eye on you, it can be easy to fall into the ‘I can do what I want, when I want’ mindset. You’re in control of your meals, making sure you can run errands without having someone constantly reminding you to do them etc. If you’re going to live alone, you have to be able to actually look after yourself!
While it’s tempting to order take away every night because you can’t be bothered cooking after a long day at work, you really shouldn’t do this as not only would it be very expensive, it would also be very unhealthy. There’s a stereotype that a lot of students put on weight when they start university because, for most of them, it’s the first time they are fully caring for themselves without any parents/guardians being there 24/7.
So if you secretly feel that you want (or need) your Mum to look after you, maybe consider staying at home for a little longer.
Even now there are days my boyfriend and I wish there was someone else to clean the house, cook the dinner and make us lunch for work.
Oh my god, chores! So remember when you were younger and all you had to do was clean your room? And then you had to step up your game and had more responsibilities like help with the kitchen, bathrooms and laundry? Well, imagine that on a bigger scale!
Obviously, the bigger your living space the more there is to clean. My boyfriend and I live in a three-bedroom house and the amount of times I wish we would hire a cleaner is shocking! Once you move out, you have to keep your home clean and unless you have someone to help you have to do it yourself as no one else will do it for you.
This has sometimes been a struggle for me as when I lived with my family, I was a bit of a Princess (lol, I still am) and didn’t actually have to do many chores, and while I do of course keep the house clean I HATE it! But like I said, if you and the people you live with don’t keep the place clean, no one will! This can especially be an issue if you’re renting as I’m pretty sure landlords will get annoyed if they don’t think you’re taking care of their property properly.
If you’re like me and are a bit of a worrier, there may well be times where you may find it a bit daunting going from living in a house full of people, to just by yourself. Again, I live with my boyfriend so I’m never alone at night, which is great as I’m not sure how I would cope if I was!
If I hear the slightest noise I sometimes freak out, which is why I felt the need to have a dog so that not only do I have a pet to cuddle, but I also have someone there to help protect myself, my boyfriend and the house.
I know that sometimes you may not always get the opportunity to choose who you live with, for example, if you’re going to move into a house share with strangers. However, if you’re moving in with someone you already know, make sure you can actually live and spend a lot of time with them. Even if you have known your friend/partner/whoever for a while, living with someone can be a whole new game. Remember, you’re going to spend a lot of time with this person and depending on the size of your home, you are not able to get away from them. So, be sure you can happily (for the most part) live with your potential house/flatmate and think about ways to have your own space.
Also, consider if you think you can all share responsibilities equally or find a routine that fits you both so not just one person is doing all of the work.
Top tip: if my boyfriend really pisses me off I like to perform a dramatic exit by stomping up the stairs and go into the bedroom, (closing the door extra loudly for the added dramatic impact of course) until I calm down (or he comes up to apologise, obvs).
Homesickness is a topic I could discuss all day! I went to uni and I lived in America for six months without my family. I don’t live far away from my family at all and I speak to them every day anyway, so for me, the transition wasn’t too hard as I was used to living away and my family are quite literally minutes away! I also make a point of seeing my family once a week and I make sure to spend some quality time with my Mum so we don’t miss each other too much. I don’t even live alone and have the company of my boyfriend and my dog, so I’m never really alone for long. Sometimes I get a bit lonely or bored when I work from home, but again I know my boyfriend will be home from work at the end of the day and my family are just around the corner so that makes it easier.
However, if you’re worried you’ll get homesick maybe make a routine where you make sure you will still see or speak to your family as often as you can, it’s a simple way to make sure you’re still in contact and won’t miss them too much.
Those are all of the tips I have to offer for now! Overall, while it can be daunting, moving out is defiantly an experience that will make you grow up and when it comes to moving in with your significant other, many people say it either makes you or breaks you! Luckily my boyfriend and I really enjoy living with each other (even when I do my previously mentioned ‘dramatic exit’ which hardly ever happens anyway).
No one can really tell you when it’s the ‘right time’ to move out, that’s something only you can decide. While there are things about moving out you must think about (like finances,) if you think you’re ready and can handle it, then go for it! Remember, you can always see your family and friends whenever you want and even if they aren’t around the corner, you can still Facetime them or use the many platforms of social media and it will feel like you never went away!
At the beginning of the year, my boyfriend and I took the biggest step in our relationship yet and moved in together. Moving out is possibly one of the biggest steps you will ever make in your life, regardless of if you’re moving in with your partner, friend or by yourself.
After moving out to live at uni, moving country by myself and now moving in with my boyfriend, I thought I would talk about taking the plunge and flying the nest.
Can you afford it?
First thing first, can you afford to move out? Think about it, when you live at home most people don’t pay rent and usually get their washing, cooking and other chores for them (if they’re lucky). Living at home with your family is usually always cheaper than living by yourself.
There are so many things to consider; how much rent can you pay if you’re renting? Will you still be able to pay for household bills once your rent or mortgage is taken care of? Don’t forget you probably have other things to pay for too, food, phone bills, car payments and you’re also going to want some extra left over cash for things like socialising, treating yourself to new clothes etc. You’ll also probably want to (or in some cases will have to) buy things for your new place. Furniture, homeware, kitchen utensils, the list seems endless.
Living independently is expensive so make sure you’re confident you can actually afford it.
Think about why you want to move out
Also, consider why you want to fly the nest. Is it because you and your partner want to take the next step in your relationship? Are you ready to take on life more independently? Have you found a new job and want an easier commute? Take a step back and think about if you actually want to (or have to) move out. Weigh up the pros and cons and then see how you feel. It’s also worth discussing the idea with people around you so that you can hear different opinions.
Sometimes when you have your heart set on a goal it’s not easy hearing people suggest you shouldn’t go for it, but it’s always worth listening to other people’s thoughts. Luckily for me, my family were very supportive when it came to me leaving my family home and moving in with Calhan.
Budget, budget, BUDGET!
Be a sensible adult
While it’s tempting to order take away every night because you can’t be bothered cooking after a long day at work, you really shouldn’t do this as not only would it be very expensive, it would also be very unhealthy. There’s a stereotype that a lot of students put on weight when they start university because, for most of them, it’s the first time they are fully caring for themselves without any parents/guardians being there 24/7.
So if you secretly feel that you want (or need) your Mum to look after you, maybe consider staying at home for a little longer.
Even now there are days my boyfriend and I wish there was someone else to clean the house, cook the dinner and make us lunch for work.
Chores will take over your life
Oh my god, chores! So remember when you were younger and all you had to do was clean your room? And then you had to step up your game and had more responsibilities like help with the kitchen, bathrooms and laundry? Well, imagine that on a bigger scale!
Obviously, the bigger your living space the more there is to clean. My boyfriend and I live in a three-bedroom house and the amount of times I wish we would hire a cleaner is shocking! Once you move out, you have to keep your home clean and unless you have someone to help you have to do it yourself as no one else will do it for you.
This has sometimes been a struggle for me as when I lived with my family, I was a bit of a Princess (lol, I still am) and didn’t actually have to do many chores, and while I do of course keep the house clean I HATE it! But like I said, if you and the people you live with don’t keep the place clean, no one will! This can especially be an issue if you’re renting as I’m pretty sure landlords will get annoyed if they don’t think you’re taking care of their property properly.
Get used to being alone
If you’re like me and are a bit of a worrier, there may well be times where you may find it a bit daunting going from living in a house full of people, to just by yourself. Again, I live with my boyfriend so I’m never alone at night, which is great as I’m not sure how I would cope if I was!
If I hear the slightest noise I sometimes freak out, which is why I felt the need to have a dog so that not only do I have a pet to cuddle, but I also have someone there to help protect myself, my boyfriend and the house.
Make sure you can actually live with whoever you’re moving in with
I know that sometimes you may not always get the opportunity to choose who you live with, for example, if you’re going to move into a house share with strangers. However, if you’re moving in with someone you already know, make sure you can actually live and spend a lot of time with them. Even if you have known your friend/partner/whoever for a while, living with someone can be a whole new game. Remember, you’re going to spend a lot of time with this person and depending on the size of your home, you are not able to get away from them. So, be sure you can happily (for the most part) live with your potential house/flatmate and think about ways to have your own space.
Also, consider if you think you can all share responsibilities equally or find a routine that fits you both so not just one person is doing all of the work.
Top tip: if my boyfriend really pisses me off I like to perform a dramatic exit by stomping up the stairs and go into the bedroom, (closing the door extra loudly for the added dramatic impact of course) until I calm down (or he comes up to apologise, obvs).
Homesickness
However, if you’re worried you’ll get homesick maybe make a routine where you make sure you will still see or speak to your family as often as you can, it’s a simple way to make sure you’re still in contact and won’t miss them too much.
Those are all of the tips I have to offer for now! Overall, while it can be daunting, moving out is defiantly an experience that will make you grow up and when it comes to moving in with your significant other, many people say it either makes you or breaks you! Luckily my boyfriend and I really enjoy living with each other (even when I do my previously mentioned ‘dramatic exit’ which hardly ever happens anyway).
No one can really tell you when it’s the ‘right time’ to move out, that’s something only you can decide. While there are things about moving out you must think about (like finances,) if you think you’re ready and can handle it, then go for it! Remember, you can always see your family and friends whenever you want and even if they aren’t around the corner, you can still Facetime them or use the many platforms of social media and it will feel like you never went away!
Thank you for reading and until next time,
Becca x
Comments
Post a Comment